08.31.08 habits

They say it takes 16 days to make a habit. Not so with kids with autism. Show them something once that they like, forget about every changing their minds.

For something that is good. But it seems to work more with the "habits" that probably aren't so good. Like taking drinks to bed. I never let them do it as babies or toddlers. And I'm not sure on how it started but I think one of them was sick and wasn't drinking much. I let him have some watered juice when they went to bed. When he was better, I tried to tell him no more juice to bed but that was met with cries, lots of cries and I gave in. Then the other son saw was the first son was getting and demanded it for himself. Now years later...

Ryan recently switched to drinking from a thermos. He only has one so I have to wash it every night. So Ryan no longer takes his drink to bed. Yay! So I am working on getting Andy to relinquish his. The ironic thing is that Andy doesn't even drink the juice. Every morning he brings a full cup into the kitchen.

Sometimes Andy misplaces his cup and can't find it. I won't look for it especially close to bed time. Last night, he said he couldn't play his DS (because he didn't have his cup.) I told him he could but he was adamant. Tonight was the same thing and of course he gets upset. I am not sure why he feels the need to punish himself like that. But at the last minute, he found his cup and happily grabbed his DS.

I think I will try watering down his nighttime juice. Then I can work on him keeping his clothes on while at home.

08.28.08 the wheels on the bus go oh so slow

We actually saw the bus this morning. Of course, it was zooming past out street as it was late once again. I don't know what her problem is, she just can't seem to get to our house on time or even 20 minutes late as that is when we leave. And the worse part is that she doesn't seem bothered by it.

At least the boys don't mind the car. Though I wish there was someone to meet Andy at the car loop. After he gets out, I crawl along waiting to make sure he gets in his classroom. I usually have to yell at one of the staff to make sure he gets in. I don't get it, they know who he is, will say "Hi Andy!" but don't know enough to make sure he gets in his class? I guess I am fortunate that his door is by the car loop so I can watch.

I have emailed the school and transportation about the problem. We will see how long it take to get it fixed. At least the boys are getting home just 5 minutes later than their drop-off time. But that it still 20 minutes later than last year. For 3 years they got home at 4pm. Andy can't understand why it is different this year. Neither can I.

08.21.08 laid back

Andy is pretty much laid back. Yes, he does get upset when things don't work, but he does not melt down the way Ryan does. Then again, when Andy gets very upset, it takes longer to calm him down.



When we are waiting for the bus, Andy sits and waits. Ryan fidgets and annoys. They seem to balance each other out. Mostly.

08.20.08 growing up, sort of

Ryan is growing up. You can tell by how he handled the bus being 40 minutes late on Monday & today. He held it together on the bus but once we got inside, he broke down. On Monday, it took us about 20 minutes to calm down, today was only a few minutes and he was fine. I hope this progress continues. I also hope the bus driver can get her act together and not be so dang late!

But then Ryan can be really silly. Especially when I want to take his photo. We played hide and seek today. Basically, he kept trying to hide and I kept snapping away hoping to catch a good photo.

It made the wait for the bus go by faster but after 20 minutes, Ryan wanted me to drive him to school. Andy would prefer to wait for the bus but since he whining is not as loud as Ryan's, he lost out and I drove them.

08.19.08 imagination

It's said that children with autism lack imagination. I think that isn't true. Sure, they tend to be more literal but I think there is imagination lurking inside them. They just don't know how to let it come out in ways that we are used to and accept.

For years, I only saw Andy reproduce stories he read while playing with the Thomas trains. He could only use the character trains in the way that he saw them in the book or in the video. Lately, I have been seeing him use his stuffed animals to play the characters in his stories. True, he is still using stories he has read or heard, but he can imagine Nemo standing in for Arthur and Cat standing in for Buster.

one day, one day off

The boys started school today. Ryan had wanted to take the bus but I convinced him to let me drive him. Not that I wanted to go out but I know the bus is usually late on the first day. Being late makes him made and I do what I can to avoid that. Too bad I couldn't have known how late they would be after school. They are usually home by 4 pm. By 4:30, I was getting a little anxious and called transportation. They seemed unsympathetic and said that 30 to 45 minutes late was typical for the first 3 days. The boys have been riding the bus since 2001 and it's never been like this. They finally got home at 4:40 pm and seemed OK.

Then again, Ryan was just holding it together until I got into the house. Poor guy, he hates feeling out of control. And to make matters worse, Faye is coming so there is no school tomorrow. He hates to miss school and doesn't want to go back ever again.

08.13.08 met his teacher & a horse named andy

Today was meet the teacher day. Both boys have new teachers. Ryan likes having new teachers. I wonder if he thinks that means he is growing up. This year, he has his first male teacher, Mr Moss. He seemed nice enough if a bit young. (I feel so old!) His room was neat and spare of frills. Ryan got to pick out his desk and even brought his school supplies. He loved being first that way. I didn't notice until we were ready to leave that he had left his hat at home and took off his watch because those are "privileges" and he hasn't earned them back. He is too cute. He did let me take his picture with his new teacher and another with Ms Kato the inclusion specialist. Unfortunately, the pictures look like crap. (I hate flash.)

The pods all got new names this year as well. In the past, they were all birds now they are all sea life. Ryan is in with the sharks. Andy is in with the sea turtles. Andy has only had a few teachers in the 7 years he has been going to school. The last one, he had for 3 years in a row. She was nice enough but a scatter-brain and not aggressive for laid back Andy. Now Andy has Ms Krause. How do you describe your son to a stranger? I was at a loss.

It was after 8 pm and there was a loud knocking at the door. It was almost dusk and I almost didn't answer it. It was the sheriff. Crap! What did we do? (Yes, I always feel guilty that my son did something odd and/or wrong.) But it wasn't up. The neighbor's cars were broken into and did we hear or see anything? No, but is that a horse? Yes. Do you know how hard it is to my job with that around? Huh? Oh it was just a coincidence that the sheriff's office came by with 2 horses while this guy came about the cars.

I took Andy out in his robe. (Oh please let him keep it closed!) and we checked out the horses. Sampson was big dappled grey, 17 1/2 hands! Andy was a prettier roan and 11 years old just like my Andy. Andy thought the horses were from the zoo. Nope, they were handing out cards with Sheriff Bob White's photo. It is an election year.

No, pics. The light was not good and they weren't sticking around long. Then Ryan came out to make sure I wasn't late for his bedtime. sigh

07.27.08 encopresis

Does Ryan have encopresis?

I don't know, I think so. I googled and found lots of info. But one thing that struck me is that most kids have no control over the accidents. I think Ryan does. He is so good not to have accidents while at school or when we are away from home. But here, it's like he just lets go. Sometimes the accidents occur every hour! Sometimes we are lucky to go 2+ hours. He doesn't do it at night and doesn't have urinary accidents.

But looking at his diet screams constipation. His main source of calories is chocolate milk. He eats no fruits nor vegetables and will only drink juice boxes at school. But WebMD did say there might not be a correlation between diet and constipation. And I do know that when we took him off of milk when he was younger, his stools were very soft and unformed. They became "normal" when he went back to milk.

And I worry about him pooping in his pants so much. And sometimes he tells me things feel weird but he can't explain. He hates the idea of going to the doctor. I don't blame him. I can't imagine trying to give him laxatives daily or god forbid an enema!

I wrote the first part of this a month ago. Since then, I have found Miralax in the store and started giving some to Ryan everyday. I think it has helped to clean out all the old stuff in his gut. He knows I put it in his milk but doesn't mind so much. I still do it when he isn't watching.

Now we have to go through the period when Ryan's colon shrinks back down and he gets the sensations back. Only 3 weeks left until school starts, it would be nice to have it controlled by then but I am not expecting it. I think Ryan learned to hold his bowels years ago and it's going to take a while to reverse it all.

But I am much more relaxed about the whole ordeal. I know it's not his stubborn nature that is causing problems.

07.21.08 wii & other things

After a week hiatus from the wii, the boys are back playing it. Ryan got mad at Andy for playing on my profile in MaterNational. Ryan was worried that Andy would catch up to his level. Not a chance but Ryan didn't see it that way. Ryan got upset, Andy got upset, I got upset. I told Ryan he had to apologize to Andy or not play the next day. He would rather not play. He then said he wouldn't play for 3 weeks. (Why he adds on to what I say to make it even worse is beyond me.)

But Ryan only lasted for a week. Funny, Andy never asked to play. He doesn't ask to play. He waits for Ryan to play and use up his allotted time then takes his turn. But if Ryan gets upset, Andy will forfeit his turn.

Meanwhile, the wii chips continue to stack up. The boys get one for brushing their teeth, helping out around the house etc. Each chip is worth 15 minutes of wii play. I was hoping that they would want to earn even more time and I had other incentives like Ryan working on his cursive handwriting and Andy keeping his clothes on in the house. (He is not completely naked but he is getting too bug to walk around in his boxer briefs.) But they don't seem to care. Ryan will only use 4 chip each day at the most. Andy doesn't use his chips at all. Probably because Ryan feels the wii should be turned off at 6 pm. And he doesn't start playing until after 4 pm. By the time Andy gets his turn, he is lucky to finish his hour before Ryan feels the need to turn it off. I have told Andy he can continue to play but he won't. Poor kid, I wish he would learn to stand up to that tyrant.

Ryan did venture to try another game this week, actually two! Super Mario Galaxy and EA Playground. He has the guide to SMG and will pause the game to consult the book. He gets so easily frustrated and claims he will never play again because he can't win. I have learned to sympathy a little but mostly ignore him. After a few minutes of whining, he is back trying again.

07.06.08 wicked!

It was through Madge that I heard some of the sounds from the soundtrack to Wicked! I really liked "popular" and "loathing" so I got the soundtrack for myself. I made a cd and put it in my car, it was playing one day when we went to the pool. It's been the soundtrack to our summer. One of the problems with iTunes, is that "purchased music" doesn't always download in album order. And I didn't pay attention when I burned the CD. On a regular, this would be a problem but with a soundtrack, especially for a play we haven't seen, the order is jumbled and makes no sense.

I ordered the book so I could figure out the story but soon realized that the play doesn't not quite follow the book. OK, it really doesn't follow it all. I finally had to google for a synopsis so I could figure out the play as compared to the novel. I was surprised and a bit disappointed to find that Elphaba does not die in the play. But I had only read about 2/3 of the book at that point and figured she still had time to turn Wicked! She never did become evil, a bit manic and mad but I would be hard pressed to stay sober and rational if I knew a little girl with magic shoes had been sent to kill me.

I wish the book would have cleared up a few other things like who is/was Yackle. But perhaps Son of a Witch will had the answer.