06.07.08 (72 days left)

How do I teach my kids to take care of their stuff? Andy just broke the third pair of headphone for his iPod. I won't give him mine, I can't trust him. He cried, of course. And I hate to see him upset. So I got my JBL On Stage from the bathroom. I had been thinking about getting something like this but couldn't find what I wanted for the money I wanted to spend. The problem is that I had to take the iSkin cover off to put it in the dock. But if he has no headphones, he shouldn't be moving it around, right? We'll see.

On a good note, the boys got haircuts yesterday. Ryan continues to do well and I don't even need to be in the room. Andy sat pretty still this time and I only had to hold his head when Dana was doing around his ears. Andy's hair grows so fast. I had to make another appointment for 4 weeks from now.

06.05.08 (74 days until school starts)

Anytime smores: Keebler Fudge Grahams topped with marshmallow fluff.

First day of summer break, I have a headache. Ryan is really testing my patience which is already thin due to all the crap happening right now. I yell, he cries, Andy cowers, I feel guilty.

We went swimming. I forgot about the aerobic exercisers on Thursdays. They had the parking lot filled. Well, the one part. There are poles separately the parking lot into 2 areas. Probably to keep teens from cutting through. Silly, it's right at the intersection. Or maybe those who cannot wait for a green light. Anyway, I get to leave the lot, turn right since I cannot turn left, go a block, make a u-turn, go to the light, turn left, then left again to get into the other section of the lot. Pain in my ass!

The pool was crowded even without the exercisers. We went to the other end, the boys are big enough to swim over there. I took my camera and got some shots. I didn't try to hard and realized when I got home that it is better to be on the other side of the pool because of the sun. Oh well.

Then lunch then Toys R Us. Ryan wanted a monopoly game. He was playing with Grosse Pointe-opoly but wasn't excited about it. I don't blame him. He ended up with a Disney Pixar version.

Still getting used to the oven. No need to press start but you have to shut off the timer or it will beep 3 times every 90 seconds. I had asked the installer about the new smell, if there was one. I remember our old stove smelled really bad the first time and I think the smoke detector went off. He said there wouldn't be one. He was wrong. It wasn't as strong but definitely a chemical smell. I think that made the boys not want the chicken. Even tonight, the smell is still apparent, Andy coughed a bit when he came into the kitchen. He had to be convinced the chicken was OK.

We didn't go out to play after dinner. Even at 8 pm, it was still 90. Come on rain!

05.30.08

What a day!

Today was wacky tie day. Ryan did not want one. Andy was happy to wear one of Gail's. I picked out the Cat in the Hat then struggled to tie it. I haven't worn a tie since the early 80s and they were much thinner then.

The boys' IEP meetings were scheduled for today. It's always depressing to listen to how Andy is smart but lazy. He would just rather play. I don't blame him but what they hell am I supposed to do with him? I hate to "write him off" when I know he can do better. It also doesn't help that his teacher is a flake. She is leaving next year which is good but who knows who the replacement will be.

Then I get to listen to how wonderful Ryan is and how his teachers think he is a joy. And his is so smart! Great. But can you teach him to poop on the potty? (A skill that Andy has pretty much mastered. Between the two of them, I have one amazing kid!)

I didn't even get a chance to digest all the information but had to rush to Sears and buy a range. Oy the delivery and installation is expensive! But I can't hook it up myself so I pay.

On a good note, I got my reusable bags today and used them at the grocery store. Wow! Twice as much stuff fits in one bag and they are so much easier to carry. I got no rebates for using them but the store was happy to fill them for me.

Had drinks with neighbors. J thought I paid too much for installation. What choice did I have? No time to shop around or try to bluff. It took 40 minutes for the oven to light tonight. It's ridiculous and I had no options.

05.28.08

I hate spending money when it's not my plan to spend money. Sure, I know I have to spend money on food, housing and utilities. But what I really mind is having to buy a new range because mine is dying. Iit's over 8 years old and that is the expected life span according to consumer reports. But I don't remember my parents having to do this. They did get a new stove at one time more because mom wanted one. My brother took the old one which was still working.

I had plans to shop for a range today after my chiropractor appointment. I was ready and in the car and the car when click click click click click click click click.

Crap!

I called AAA then cancelled my appointment. The stewed about the whole thing. I thought it might be the starter since there was still juice but it wasn't getting enough. I called Bonnie to ask about a used starter from the yard. Then she called E and he said he could send it. E also said that it might not be the starter that the clicks could mean the battery, the starter or the alternator and how we should check for them. Bonnie was planning on sending the starter but then I asked how I was going to install it. (I know how to put gas in the tank, pump up the tires and refill the washer fluid. I could probably check the oil and add to it if necessary.) I remembered my neighbor is good with cars. I checked to see if M was home and ask if he could install a starter. Then M came to check the car.

M got his power pack and tried to start the car. It sounded better but was still not starting. At this point, AAA called and said they would be 30-45 minutes. (Funny, that what AAA said when I called them 55 minutes ago.) M still wasn't sure about changing the starter since he couldn't see enough under the car. He went and got his hydraulic jack (see, I told you he was into cars) and lifted up the car a bit. He found the starter and thought he could but then wasn't sure because of some blind screws. So he called his mechanic which was good to find out since I haven't really needed one and I just go to the dealer. (Yes, I know they are more expensive but for the most part, can be trusted. You just never know with these places that look like they might tip over in the next hurricane.) Then M called to see if the dealer had the part and how much: yes and just under $375. Damn! Bonnie's plan of sending the starter sounded better even though I would have to wait a couple of extra days. And M confirmed that the mechanic would installed a used part.

At this point, AAA finally showed up. He tried with his power pack (much more power than M's) and it started right up. Yay! So it is the battery. OK where is the best place to get one? AAA can sell you one. Uh yeah, for a premium. M suggested Walmart or Advance Auto Parts. I asked if he could install it. (See, mini vans have limited space under the hood so the battery is actually under the fuse box.) M looked and looked and decided he couldn't, or that he really didn't want to. That was fine. I would rather pay the cost than have him get upset trying to do this. I called Pasco Motors and they said it would be quick, less than 30 minutes.

Well, it wasn't quite that quick but it's done. And it was only $135. And then I had no time for groceries nor looking at ranges. Hopefully the range will start again tonight and I can eat some tuna for lunch tomorrow.

Now I wonder where all this extra cash is supposed to come from?

05.26.08

When I was a child, I would often wish I was a boy instead of a girl. I got along better with my brothers than my sister who always wanted to play dolls or house. My name would have been Thomas Henry, one I like a lot better than what I have.

I think making friends would have been easier. Boys are so straightforward. If they get mad, they fight, get it over with and go on. No petty backstabbing.

I would have been able to play little league. They started allowing girls to play just as I was getting too old. I loved playing sports. Knowing the rules made things so much easier.

Puberty. Though I have been blessed with fairly easy periods, it was always a time of panic knowing it might come any day and you might not know it before someone else spotted the signs.

I could have had a paper route. Yes, the papers allowed girls to deliver but not my parents. Instead I got to babysit. I didn't mind watching toddlers and preschoolers. I never liked watching babies. You never knew when the next job was coming. If you had a social life (I didn't), you had to decide between babysitting and fun. But you needed money for fun.

Career. No one would have thought anything about me being an architect or engineer. But being a girl, I was thought to be good in math or else why would I want to do that. No one said that to boys. I also would not have been one of 2 to graduate with a degree in architecture in a class of 20+.

No pantyhose.

I could hang out at bars without a second thought. Nice girls don't go to bars alone.

I could scratch myself in public.

But then again...

I wouldn't be able to indulge in owning several pairs of fun birkenstocks when 1 pair of sneakers would be fine. Though no one would think twice about a guy with large feet.

I wouldn't be able to use the phrase "women problems" when I wanted to get out of something.

I might be scoffed at for my love of gardening and scrapbooking.

I'd have to laugh at fart jokes.

I wouldn't be able to have a good cry. But would I even need to?

I wouldn't be mother to my wonderful boys.

05.23.08

I went to Tijuana Flats for lunch today. I go there almost every week so I "know" the staff. Well, I can't remember any of their names. I am bad with names and they don't wear name tags. The short waitress took my order. She got to the part when she asked my name. She "knew" me but didn't know my name and knew that I knew it too. I said my name and kind of laughed. She said she was bad with names because she tends to give names to people she sees. I asked her what "my" name was and she hesitated. In the past, if people get my name wrong, they call me Susan. Anyway, she said Pam. Pam? And she looked apologetic. I asked what her name was and she said Christina. Nope, she didn't look like a Christina to me. More like a Julie.

05.21.08

Ryan broke a sprinkler head this morning. (They were only just repaired last Thursday, it's hasn't even been a week!) He ran the cart into it and it snapped. I was so angry, I wanted to snap him. I tried not to yell too much. (We were out front waiting for the bus and didn't need the neighborhood to know.)

We talked about what he did wrong and what his punishment should be. I thought he should do something for 100 days think that it would be about $100 to fix and he might understand the concept of a dollar per day. I told him I would decide what his punishment should be when he got home from school.

As the day went on, I forgot about it. I am not good at holding a grudge for very long. It just wastes too much energy. Extra energy that I don't have and creates more stress than I need. But I remembered when he got home. Ryan "hid out" in the playroom reading a book. He usually goes right to my laptop to watch NASCAR races on youtube. I asked him if he wanted to talk about his punishment. "no" He finally came out and I gave him a choice;

Two weeks without his DS

or

Two weeks doing chores for 15 minutes each day.

He had to think about it. Probably because they don't do chores now so he wasn't sure what it might entail. He realized that he plays with his DS for a lot longer than 15 minutes each day and chose the chores. He said he would do them at 6 pm.

I am going to have him pick up the mess that he and Andy have created. Knowing Andy, he will probably join in thinking he is in trouble too. I only wish I could sit and relax while he works. But he needs guidance. And supervision.

This punishment thing was hard. I really did many punishments except for paddling. Until my mom broke the paddle on my bum.

5.20.08

Yay! I managed to convince Andy to go out and play after dinner. Oh and the weather was really nice at 7:30, low 80s with a nice breeze. And because the weather was nice, he stayed and rode his bike rather than going in and out of the house.

Now I wish I could convince him to leave his clothes on in the house. He is just too old to be walking around in boxer briefs.

05.18.08

I'm not so good at making and keeping friends. I think I lack the normal social skills. It doesn't bother me so much except that I see Ryan struggling and I don't know how to help. I don't want him hanging around the older kids in the neighborhood. (They seem unsupervised and trouble-makers.) And other kids are younger. They are only a couple of years younger and they do play with Ryan. But mostly I see Ryan just hanging around them like a fifth wheel. I'm not sure he understands their games and they don't know to explain them to Ryan.

I remember a few friends when I was growing up. I never really gave it much thought. There were some kids on the block and sometimes we played together. There was never anyone I had to see everyday. I was good at playing on my own.

I made friends in school but rarely saw anyone outside of school. Almost everyone else lived in Detroit and I wasn't allowed to just go over there. And when my mom started working at the school, my sister and I became latchkey kids. We had to go directly home and stay inside until mom got home. This led to me watching lots of TV and my sister on the phone.

In high school, friendships were already formed and I was the outsider. I made a few friends, one of which I still have to this day. But the whole thing does not come naturally to me.

I still have trouble meeting and making friends. I guess I am shy or unsure of what to say. The internet is a big help because you can take your time and try to make a good first impression. When we moved down here, I wanted and needed to make friends. Joining the MOMS club helped a lot. I made some wonderful friends who really helped me when I needed it. Unfortunately, most of my good friends have moved away. And we don't keep in touch like we should. And I have let some friendships slide over the years falling to exchanging Christmas cards and photos of our kids.

Neighbors are another thing. I thought they could be good friends, close friends. Maybe they can. I haven't seen it happen to me yet. There are 2 neighbors of mine. They are good friends with each other. They are friendly to me but I still feel like the outsider. Not always sure what to say. Always having to feel apologetic for the behavior of my kids. Being left out of their outings.

I think friendship is going to be one of those things that I have to keep working on.

05.15.08

The bus was late this afternoon. Twenty minutes late. I knew that Ryan would be upset. The bus driver said that dismissal was delayed because of criminal activity. He didn't know anymore than that. He said the boys did well.

But Ryan wouldn't open his eyes. It's his ostrich tactic when this are going badly and he doesn't want to face them. I carried him from the bus to the garage then made him walk. Still he would not open his eyes. Lucky for him I was in a pretty good mood even though I had just spent over $100 at the grocery store. I stayed calmed and sympathized. I find that agreeing with him lets the foul mood pass more quickly. We laid down in my bed and talked and then played. He didn't want to go back to school ever again. He wanted to switch schools. He wanted the school to go out of business. At 5 pm, he felt better and was ready to go on his way.

That's just one of Ryan's quirks. He has to be on time. Once he got his watch, he demanded that everyone else be on time as well. It drove the teachers a bit mad. Last year, they took down the schedule which listed the times each activity was to be started and completed. There are no class bells so the times could be a bit flexible. Ryan is not.

This year Ryan got into some behavioral problems. They took away some items that they deemed "privileges." One of the items is his watch. He cannot wear it in school until he earns it back. So he outsmarted them and wears it on the bus but puts it in his backpack before he gets to school. Then he puts it back on when he gets on the bus to go home. So he knows when he is "late."

Ryan makes up a lot of rules dealing with time. At 7:15 pm, he sits on the potty and plays with his DS. At 8:00 pm, he takes a bath. At 8:30 pm, he wants kisses and the light turned off. Early is OK, late is not.