06.27.08 changes

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I am noticing some changes of behavior from the boys and frankly, I don't like it.


Ryan has gotten very sassy. He has a retort for every comment and his tone his just, ugh, I wanna smack him. I guess this is normal behavior for his age but I wasn't expecting it and I don't know how to curb it. If I raise my voice, Andy gets upset. And speaking of Andy, if I reprimand him, even without me getting upset, he does. He acts like I have just done the worst thing possible to him and then I have to spend 15-20 minutes consoling him.


Damn prepubescence.

06.24.08

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I love thunderstorms. I was so exciting after we moved here and we got our first summer storm. I followed it via radar on the weather channel. It rolled up from the southeast and hit with a vengeance. It was so cool!


I later found out that this kind of storm is not the norm in Florida. Florida summer storms do follow a pattern but one where the cells will pop up quickly and disintegrate just as fast. If you watch the radar maps, you may think you are going to get some rain and still be bone dry 2 hours later. My sister was done one time and we watched the storm for over an hour but we got no rain. Lots of lightning and thunder, cool, wicked lightning.


After Gail died, Duffy started getting scared during storms. When his hearing was going, he would freak out with the camera flash because he thought it was lightning. Duffy died in 2006.


In 2007, Ryan started being scared of thunderstorms. Up until then, he and Andy never even acknowledged the storms. Last year, he would hide under a blanket usually on my lap. He started going to bed early so he could sleep though them, and he does sleep through them.


This year isn't quite so bad but he still doesn't like them. He is so worried that the power will go out and will now only use my laptop since it has a battery. (I have told him that if the power goes out, so does the internet.)


Andy seems to get a little excited during storms. But I think it is anticipation for a flooded backyard in which he can play in the water.


I wish I could just enjoy the power of the storms but I stay quiet and do my best to ignore them so Ryan doesn't pick up on any vibes.

06.17.08

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I should own stock in Playtex. And I don't mean bras or any feminine type product.


It's the darn sippy and straw cups that I can't seem to get rid of.


Andy had a bottle until he was 2. I should have weaned him earlier but I am a wimp that way. He made the switch at 2 pretty easily. It was done in a few days. I was determined never to have Ryan use a bottle. That worked OK especially since he nursed until he was 20 months.


The sippy cup has been an evil curse. I thought it was great since the boys could drink without spilling. Little did I know. Those cup do spills, drops. But drops that still stain builder's beige carpeting. And those cups get lost and moldy. I don't even want to think how many of those I have purchased over the years. And then when I found blue ones and red ones I was overjoyed so I could assign a color to each boy and they would drink each other's drinks and I would know whose cup was missing. But then, those colors were around for only a limited time. And the school wanted us to get the boys off the sippy cup and using straws and juice boxes. (But wasn't I doing better for our ecology but not using juice boxes?)


So we switched to the straw cups. Cool. Now my kids looked more grown up. But those straws are so fun to chew. And soon I was buying cups to replace the damn straws! Dad found a site where I could get just the straws. But the boys continued to chew. I stopped replacing the straws. And I've stopped buying new cups. Each boy now has 3 cups and when they are gone, they are gone. When Andy misplaces his, he will use a regular cup and a straw. He even thinks it's fun. Ryan will go without and whine. (And Ryan is more high functioning.)


Summer time is difficult when we go out. We can't let the cups sit in the car with the heat, especially with Ryan's milk. So we take a cooler. But that's a pain. So I looked into getting thermos type cups. Ryan was hesitant but he allowed me to order a Scooby Do one for him. But then it got here and he didn't want to use it until he misplaced one if his cups. He didn't want to use another cup so he used the thermos. And now he prefers it to his cups. They really keep it colder.


I got one for Andy too. He didn't use his until yesterday. And he bit the straw off right away. They did come with replacement straws but I will not replace it, yet. He still prefers his straw cup from Playtex.

06.16.08

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I look at the clock and it's 4:41 am and Ryan is wanting to get up. Um..no! It's too early. He finally slips out of bed at 5:00 am. This used to be me. I loved getting up early when the house was still quiet. About a year ago, Ryan go upset if I woke up before him, he wanted morning cuddles. So I let him get up first. I missed my quiet time so I started staying up later at night. I can't no longer pop out of bed in the morning like he can. It also helps that he goes to bed at 8:30 pm and is quickly asleep.


Andy takes after his father seeming to need less than average sleep. He is usually awake when I got to bed at 10:30 pm but stays in his room. Even going to bed that late, he gets up rather easily at 6:00 am. Oh to be young again!


We had plans to go to the mall today so Andy could ride the elevators. But first we went swimming. One thing I gave up with kids is wearing a watch. I got CPS pretty bad when I was pregnant with them and couldn't stand the watch on my wrist. The CPS got better but never went away after the boys were born and I still can't stand a watch on my wrist. There are plenty of clocks around the house so I don't miss my watch. I also tend not to pay too much attention to the time anymore like I used to. Ryan is my clock these days. Andy too those he doesn't wear a watch and doesn't see to look at the clock much. Anyway, between the 2 of them, they let me know when it is time to do something. Like this morning and going to the pool. I didn't even look at the clock when we left and we were there 5 minutes too early. They rarely open the pool on time and don't even think about early. They were 10 minutes late this morning so the 15 minutes ruined Ryan's day. He wouldn't swim again. I let him go to the car to get his book so he stopped pouting and whining right away. The pool was relatively empty, only 2 people. Andy was done swimming in less than an hour.


We had plenty of errands to run. Ryan got mad that I didn't go to the bank he expected me to go to. But it would have been out of my way. He didn't care. Again, he was upset and didn't want to eat lunch. I told him he had to. He said the fries were too hot but I saw him eating them within about 5 minutes.


Ryan had said days before that he didn't want to go to the mall to ride in the elevators. I said he didn't have to ride in the elevators but he had to go. He had a good time, especially when I let them go up and down the escalators in the main court. I let Andy go on all the escalators and elevators in the mall. He was happy and very excited when I showed him that the escalators were made by Kone. He decided that the elevators were Kone as well though there was nothing to say that they were.


We went into B Dalton Books. Ryan wanted a Thomas movie screen book but I said no when I saw it was $25! He would only look at it once and then lose the pieces. It was just for the novelty of it. The boys wandered into Build-a-Bear. It was busy and I didn't say they could get a bear. They don't ask. I am not happy with the poor quality of the bears. They are falling apart and we have fluff all over the house. We went to the Apple Store and I got to see an iPhone for the very first time. Very nice. Ryan was liking the iPod touch. Andy was happy to play the kids games on the computers. We left pretty empty handed. I got some hand lotions and votive candles and the boys got nothing. They didn't care.


We had time to kill so we went to Barnes & Noble. I think we spent too much time there, Andy was starting to get into trouble for trying to sit on someone's lap. Ryan got a Mario Kart Wii guide. We don't even own the game. He loves to read those guides. Now if only he would poop on the potty so we can set up the Wii.


sigh.

06.12.08

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Stubborn Personified:




I should have seen it coming.


Today is Thursday. Thursday is swim day. The pool opens at 10:00. Sometimes, they are late opening the pool. Ryan didn't like that so last year, we went to the pool at 10:30. I assumed they would want the same time. I didn't pay attention to how early Ryan was getting ready. I was doing something on my computer and he was ready to walk out of the door. It wasn't quite 10. I told him I wasn't ready and he got a bit upset but seemed to let it go quickly.


We were in the car at 10:10 and driving down the street when I realized I had forgotten to take my claritin. I have a cold and it helps. So I drove around the block to home. Ryan was upset, "I quit." He wanted to go home and stay home. I grumbled or maybe yelled and he was quiet.


As we got close to the clubhouse I said, "Oh, it's Thursday. I bet the parking lot is full." They have a water aerobics class meet on Thursday mornings. Last week we got there only to have to turn around and go in the other entrance. Again, grumbles from the way back. "Ryan, if you can't deal with small problems, your life is going to be miserable. This is a small problem, not worth getting upset about." As it turns out, there were parking spots.


We got out and were walking to the clubhouse when Ryan stopped and said he had the wrong shoes on. He wanted the yellow ones instead of the orange ones. Now I know this sounds silly and trite but it's how he felt. He wanted to go home and stay home. But that wasn't fair to Andy who loves to swim. I gave him two choices, we could go home and change his shoes before swimming or after swimming but we were going to let Andy swim. He decided to go swimming now. Only he decided he wasn't going to swim.


Ryan pouted and sobbed and whined for a while then seemed better. Andy enjoyed his swim without his brother hanging on him or jumping on him.


We left to go home but Ryan decided he didn't want to change his shoes anymore. But he also didn't want lunch. So we skipped Wendy's and went to Chick-Fil-A then to the grocery store. Ryan didn't eat anything even when we got home. He also didn't change his shoes to the yellow ones.

06.09.08

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What was I thinking? Did I really think I could change the routine without repercussions? Trying to save some money, I asked Ryan if we could come back after swimming and eat lunch here. He said yes and I thought we would be OK. After all, Ryan is more resistant to change than Andy. Usually.


Swimming went fine. Ryan stayed in the water longer today. Andy got out soon after him. In the past, Andy would swim as long as I let him.


Next we stopped at the bank. Still OK. Then going to Publix, Andy starts mumbling something in a whiney tone. He wants to eat lunch in the car which means going to Chic-Fil-A. I said OK because I hadn't asked him before we left and he wasn't ready for the change. So he seemed fine inside Publix. Until we got close to checking out. We went by the magazines so Ryan could get a NASCAR guide. I asked Andy what he wanted and he started talking about the Schindler Elevator. Huh? Oh right, this Publix is 2 story in the administrative offices and there is an elevator tucked away in the corner. I know Andy wants to go but it's for employees only. I tell him and he breaks down. I think about asking for a manager who would probably let Andy ride it once. But I don't want him to think he can always get his way. He is crying and getting more upset which makes Ryan get upset too. I am trying to stay calm, I know I can't drag him out of there, he is just too big. And I want to know that he can calm down when he needs to. This is cognitive dissonance, I just learned the term recently.


So I suggested that we go to International Plaza. It's the only mall around that has plenty of elevators and escalators. Unfortunately, it's not so close. Andy wants to go now, today. But Ryan doesn't want to go at all. We settle with going next week. Andy is still sad and crying.

06.08.08

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Getting back to what matters.


I jump around from hobby to hobby; from interest to interest. When we were going through with diagnosing and getting treatment for the boys, I read a lot about autism and related disorders. I am not sure if my interest waned or that I just burned out on reading nothing but autism. Anyway, I am trying to get back into what is going on with current thoughts about autism. I read some blogs on regular basis. Some are by parents with children who have autism, some are from people who autism.


Today, I read a post from a woman who has autism. She has difficulty with speech but is very good with the written word. She reminds us "normal" people to be patient when asking questions of autistics as they need extra time to process the information. Repeating the question, asking more questions before you get an answer only adds to the problem. First of all, make sure you have the person's attention before you ask a question.


In other things that matter. I have been very bad about getting birthday cards out. Today is Charlie's 53rd birthday Happy Birthday Charlie!


I really need to make some cards.