08.19.08 imagination

It's said that children with autism lack imagination. I think that isn't true. Sure, they tend to be more literal but I think there is imagination lurking inside them. They just don't know how to let it come out in ways that we are used to and accept.

For years, I only saw Andy reproduce stories he read while playing with the Thomas trains. He could only use the character trains in the way that he saw them in the book or in the video. Lately, I have been seeing him use his stuffed animals to play the characters in his stories. True, he is still using stories he has read or heard, but he can imagine Nemo standing in for Arthur and Cat standing in for Buster.

one day, one day off

The boys started school today. Ryan had wanted to take the bus but I convinced him to let me drive him. Not that I wanted to go out but I know the bus is usually late on the first day. Being late makes him made and I do what I can to avoid that. Too bad I couldn't have known how late they would be after school. They are usually home by 4 pm. By 4:30, I was getting a little anxious and called transportation. They seemed unsympathetic and said that 30 to 45 minutes late was typical for the first 3 days. The boys have been riding the bus since 2001 and it's never been like this. They finally got home at 4:40 pm and seemed OK.

Then again, Ryan was just holding it together until I got into the house. Poor guy, he hates feeling out of control. And to make matters worse, Faye is coming so there is no school tomorrow. He hates to miss school and doesn't want to go back ever again.

08.13.08 met his teacher & a horse named andy

Today was meet the teacher day. Both boys have new teachers. Ryan likes having new teachers. I wonder if he thinks that means he is growing up. This year, he has his first male teacher, Mr Moss. He seemed nice enough if a bit young. (I feel so old!) His room was neat and spare of frills. Ryan got to pick out his desk and even brought his school supplies. He loved being first that way. I didn't notice until we were ready to leave that he had left his hat at home and took off his watch because those are "privileges" and he hasn't earned them back. He is too cute. He did let me take his picture with his new teacher and another with Ms Kato the inclusion specialist. Unfortunately, the pictures look like crap. (I hate flash.)

The pods all got new names this year as well. In the past, they were all birds now they are all sea life. Ryan is in with the sharks. Andy is in with the sea turtles. Andy has only had a few teachers in the 7 years he has been going to school. The last one, he had for 3 years in a row. She was nice enough but a scatter-brain and not aggressive for laid back Andy. Now Andy has Ms Krause. How do you describe your son to a stranger? I was at a loss.

It was after 8 pm and there was a loud knocking at the door. It was almost dusk and I almost didn't answer it. It was the sheriff. Crap! What did we do? (Yes, I always feel guilty that my son did something odd and/or wrong.) But it wasn't up. The neighbor's cars were broken into and did we hear or see anything? No, but is that a horse? Yes. Do you know how hard it is to my job with that around? Huh? Oh it was just a coincidence that the sheriff's office came by with 2 horses while this guy came about the cars.

I took Andy out in his robe. (Oh please let him keep it closed!) and we checked out the horses. Sampson was big dappled grey, 17 1/2 hands! Andy was a prettier roan and 11 years old just like my Andy. Andy thought the horses were from the zoo. Nope, they were handing out cards with Sheriff Bob White's photo. It is an election year.

No, pics. The light was not good and they weren't sticking around long. Then Ryan came out to make sure I wasn't late for his bedtime. sigh

07.27.08 encopresis

Does Ryan have encopresis?

I don't know, I think so. I googled and found lots of info. But one thing that struck me is that most kids have no control over the accidents. I think Ryan does. He is so good not to have accidents while at school or when we are away from home. But here, it's like he just lets go. Sometimes the accidents occur every hour! Sometimes we are lucky to go 2+ hours. He doesn't do it at night and doesn't have urinary accidents.

But looking at his diet screams constipation. His main source of calories is chocolate milk. He eats no fruits nor vegetables and will only drink juice boxes at school. But WebMD did say there might not be a correlation between diet and constipation. And I do know that when we took him off of milk when he was younger, his stools were very soft and unformed. They became "normal" when he went back to milk.

And I worry about him pooping in his pants so much. And sometimes he tells me things feel weird but he can't explain. He hates the idea of going to the doctor. I don't blame him. I can't imagine trying to give him laxatives daily or god forbid an enema!

I wrote the first part of this a month ago. Since then, I have found Miralax in the store and started giving some to Ryan everyday. I think it has helped to clean out all the old stuff in his gut. He knows I put it in his milk but doesn't mind so much. I still do it when he isn't watching.

Now we have to go through the period when Ryan's colon shrinks back down and he gets the sensations back. Only 3 weeks left until school starts, it would be nice to have it controlled by then but I am not expecting it. I think Ryan learned to hold his bowels years ago and it's going to take a while to reverse it all.

But I am much more relaxed about the whole ordeal. I know it's not his stubborn nature that is causing problems.

07.21.08 wii & other things

After a week hiatus from the wii, the boys are back playing it. Ryan got mad at Andy for playing on my profile in MaterNational. Ryan was worried that Andy would catch up to his level. Not a chance but Ryan didn't see it that way. Ryan got upset, Andy got upset, I got upset. I told Ryan he had to apologize to Andy or not play the next day. He would rather not play. He then said he wouldn't play for 3 weeks. (Why he adds on to what I say to make it even worse is beyond me.)

But Ryan only lasted for a week. Funny, Andy never asked to play. He doesn't ask to play. He waits for Ryan to play and use up his allotted time then takes his turn. But if Ryan gets upset, Andy will forfeit his turn.

Meanwhile, the wii chips continue to stack up. The boys get one for brushing their teeth, helping out around the house etc. Each chip is worth 15 minutes of wii play. I was hoping that they would want to earn even more time and I had other incentives like Ryan working on his cursive handwriting and Andy keeping his clothes on in the house. (He is not completely naked but he is getting too bug to walk around in his boxer briefs.) But they don't seem to care. Ryan will only use 4 chip each day at the most. Andy doesn't use his chips at all. Probably because Ryan feels the wii should be turned off at 6 pm. And he doesn't start playing until after 4 pm. By the time Andy gets his turn, he is lucky to finish his hour before Ryan feels the need to turn it off. I have told Andy he can continue to play but he won't. Poor kid, I wish he would learn to stand up to that tyrant.

Ryan did venture to try another game this week, actually two! Super Mario Galaxy and EA Playground. He has the guide to SMG and will pause the game to consult the book. He gets so easily frustrated and claims he will never play again because he can't win. I have learned to sympathy a little but mostly ignore him. After a few minutes of whining, he is back trying again.

07.06.08 wicked!

It was through Madge that I heard some of the sounds from the soundtrack to Wicked! I really liked "popular" and "loathing" so I got the soundtrack for myself. I made a cd and put it in my car, it was playing one day when we went to the pool. It's been the soundtrack to our summer. One of the problems with iTunes, is that "purchased music" doesn't always download in album order. And I didn't pay attention when I burned the CD. On a regular, this would be a problem but with a soundtrack, especially for a play we haven't seen, the order is jumbled and makes no sense.

I ordered the book so I could figure out the story but soon realized that the play doesn't not quite follow the book. OK, it really doesn't follow it all. I finally had to google for a synopsis so I could figure out the play as compared to the novel. I was surprised and a bit disappointed to find that Elphaba does not die in the play. But I had only read about 2/3 of the book at that point and figured she still had time to turn Wicked! She never did become evil, a bit manic and mad but I would be hard pressed to stay sober and rational if I knew a little girl with magic shoes had been sent to kill me.

I wish the book would have cleared up a few other things like who is/was Yackle. But perhaps Son of a Witch will had the answer.

07.04.08 wii

Last year we were in the mall and we stopped into GameStop. We were looking for a replacement Sonic Heroes for the GameCube. They didn't have one. Since the Wii came out, they are making fewer games for the GameCube. Ryan wanted Super Paper Mario but it was only for the Wii. The salesperson said he had one in stock. Huh? Umm... well, I was going to wait but then... OK, let's buy it!

I had intended it to be for Christmas but maybe it would be a good incentive for Ryan to poop on the potty. It didn't work. I kept hoping as he kept trying. Now, almost a year later, I know his "accidents" truly are accidents and he has little control over his bowels. So I decided to get the Wii out, Christmas in July.

We set it up yesterday. Ryan started with Super Paper Mario. He has read the guide for months and thought he knew how to get through the whole game. But it's not as easy as reading. He played for over an hour and I made him let Andy have a turn. Ryan didn't want Andy to play SPM, so we got MaterNational. Since then, we haven't changed the game.

They even let me play a few times. I just got done playing for about an hour. Oh my hands are sore and the right one was numb from holding the game controller too tightly. It is harder than it looks but then again, I think the boys enjoys crashing into saguaros and other cars. As I type, Ryan is chasing Filmore and running into him. Do they still have demolition derbies.

07.02.08 punctuality

Since Ryan got a watch, he has been a bit of a tyrant when it comes to time. In second grade, they had to take the scheduled times down since Ryan would get upset if they varied from those times. He was better knowing that b followed a but not always at time x.

Last year in third grade, Ryan got upset about a 30 second delay and pushed his teacher into the window and bruised her. His teacher is small and not much bigger than him. His temper comes from both me and his father. His impulse to lash out comes from his father. He lost quite a few privileges that day. One of them was his watch. He was told that he was no longer allowed to wear during school hours. (I wasn't told of all the lost privileges but learned of them over time.) Ryan wore his watch on the bus then tucked it away in his back pack before he got to school. Then he put it back on as the bus pulled away. (I think the inclusion specialist thought he left he left at home and never checked his backpack.)

Anytime the bus was late, we faced possible meltdowns. Ryan would want to be driven to school, Andy would want to wait for the bus. If we waited for the late bus, Ryan would get upset and then Andy would get upset because of Ryan. I had to decide whose whining I could tolerate more. Poor Andy usually lost.

Bath time is at 8:00. Not early or late or we face possible tantrums. Bedtime is at 8:30 but can be a minute or two early. Ryan likes to be out of bed before sunrise and that means about 5:00 am these past few weeks. I can't use an alarm clock to wake him either.

Today we went to get haircuts. Most people know that stylists are typically late. At least mine have always been. It used to really annoy me especially when I made the effort to be there on time or usually early. Since having kids, I am much more flexible when it comes to time. And at the past few appointments, Ryan has been OK with the delay. Today he was not and the breakdown started. He was upset and Andy started getting upset, "Can Ryan stop?" which caused Ryan to scream. Oh joy. Ryan wanted to go home but I wouldn't allow it. I talked quietly but firmly and he did calm down some. At least he was good for Dana and showed no signs of his mood with her.

I will be sure to tell them a later time when we go back next month.

06.30.08 growing up

We went to Target today and I realized that I haven't "lost" either boy this summer. (Of course, now that I have typed this, it will happen next time we go.)

We had been in Florida only a few months when I had to ask for helping finding Andy. They found him quickly and were really nice. After that, I kept the boys in the cart as much as possible. Then they got bigger and no longer fit. But it wasn't really a problem as I did my shopping when they were in school. I didn't have that option during summer break.

Grovery shopping at Publix was usually OK. But then we had to go to Target as well. Sometimes Andy stayed with me but more often than not, he would wander away. I would continue my shopping and he would show up at the check out area. (I kept an eye for him and prayed that his guardian angels were there for him.) Occasionally, Ryan and I would have to wait after I had paid and Andy would eventually walk by. At least once a year, during the summer, I would have to ask for help finding Andy.

It's called a Code Yellow. And then the exits are monitored and all available staff go looking for him. I am always embarrassed having to ask but I have to put this aside and think of his safety. I never had to wait for long before he was found and returned to me.

It was either last year or the year before when Ryan wandered off. He was found ready to check out with a basket full of items. Not stuff he wanted but stuff he could reach. He didn't have any money and didn't even think about paying but he knew he had to put the stuff on the belt.

We would go over the rules before we entered the store and he knew them. But it wouldn't stop Andy's wandering. He would like sit in the cart but then I would have no room from groceries so that didn't work. I tried holding his hand the entire time and pulling the cart with the other, but eventually he would get upset and want to be let go. I couldn't think of a solution.

But maybe it was matter of time and maturity. To be honest, Andy does still wander off. But he is within earshot and comes back when called.

Am I tempting fate by posting this?

06.28.08 drama king

"I don't think Andy likes me anymore."

"When I go in the room, he leaves."

Well, maybe you should be nice to him.

"Noooo! I cannot do that, I'll die!"